Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Children don't get justice: Men and Children Repression Prevention Act deserves time

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Violence against women is mostly caused by man. But Male violence happened by both woman and man. To protect women there are so many laws in the countries. But there is no law for male to protect them from violence against them. To protect male and child from abusing laws are needed to pass for them.

In those laws it should be added that the lovers of ones wife are guilty to make extra-marital-affair with a married woman. It means that extra-marital-affair is a sin and a offense according to those laws.

Jenifer, a 5 years old child lost her mother. Because her mother was fallen into extra-marital-affair with Mr. Maruf. Her mother had been maintaining physical relation with Mr. Maruf for 2 years. Once upon a time Jenifer's father realized about the matter.
.... Then he divorced his wife taking the child with him. Now Jenifer stays with her father. His father has married again. But Jenifer's sorrows are why she lost her mother? Who are guilty? Is it her mother only? No, Mr. Maruf, lover of her mother is also guilty.

But there is no law in the world for Jenifer. She born in the world innocent. But she fallen in a terrible within her 5 years. 

People talks about the woman abusing world wide. But there is none to talk for Jenifer. Where most of the abusing women were not fresh from themselves. The most of the women violence are happened for some offense caused by those women.

Jenifer's offense is to come in this earth.



Friday, February 3, 2017

Cyber sexual harassment

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Cyber sexual harassment can range from lewd comments on Facebook and Twitter to uploading a girl's image on a public forum without her consent, from exhibition of unwanted sexual attention to distribution of pornographic materials online. The harassers are not always complete strangers, but may also be friends or acquaintances from off-line social interactions.  

 
When such incidents happen, most girls do not report it to the school authorities or tell their families for fear that they would be blamed, and their characters questioned. In a country where sex is a taboo topic, some are too embarrassed to bring up the issue with elders or even their same-age cousins, and are left to deal with the harassment – or the subsequent trauma caused by it – themselves. 

They are not aware of the kinds of dangers they are exposed to online, or of the legal and institutional support that are available to them (if any). In most cases, women feel that reporting the incidents would not bring them any justice; rather, it would give rise to intrusive questions about her character and bring disgrace to her and her family. If the incidents are of a less severe nature (such as offensive comments on Facebook), they think that authorities would dismiss them as insignificant.   


Meanwhile, even if a girl is brave enough to report the crime, it doesn't mean that justice will prevail in the end. Barrister Sara Hossain, Honorary Director of Bangladesh Legal Aid and Services Trust (BLAST), gives the example of a female university student who filed a case both with the police and informed the university. “Astonishingly, the university expelled the girl, claiming that they were in possession of obscene photographs of her engaging in immoral activities. The case went to the High Court, and eventually the High Court, in a bench headed by a 'progressive' judge, found against the girl on the basis that she had consented to having her photographs taken at one point in time,” she comments. “What the Court failed to note was that while she may or may not have consented to the relationship initially, and may also have consented to photographs of her being taken for their private use while they were in a relationship, she had never consented to the distribution of the photographs in public.”

Entrenched patriarchal attitudes of institutions that are supposed to protect women from such harassment mean that women shy away from seeking redress. In addition, law enforcement agencies often do not have the technical know-how or the political will to address cases of cyber sexual harassment.

Nina Goswami states that oftentimes it's difficult to identify the perpetrators as they use fake profiles and addresses. The police are hardly ever helpful in tracking them, she adds. 

However, if law enforcers can trace people from across the county for making derogatory comments about the Prime Minister online, then it follows that they have the ability to do so for other threats, including from sexual harassers. No law enforcement agency, however, as of now, monitors content on the web to identify cyber sexual harassers proactively. Only when cases are filed (if then) do they move forward.

On April 21, two Supreme Court lawyers filed a general diary with the Banani Police Station against Arefin Ahmed Shehim for the post highlighted above declaring that he would rape any woman who shows skin. 
With social media inundated with such messages, the lawyers state they wanted to encourage other citizens to take legal actions against the perpetrators instead of just raising their voices on social media.
“Openly threatening rape and inciting others to participate in rape are criminal acts that can and must be brought to justice,” says one SC lawyer.

When contacted on May 14, Banani Thana OC Bhuiyan Mahbub Hasan informed that “investigation was underway” and that they were working with the DB to identity the perpetrator. He added that he was not under liberty to divulge the progress they had made as it might “hamper” the investigation. 
Stating that this was the first time a cyber sexual harassment crime had been reported to his Thana, he promised that all such cases would be treated in an efficient and sensitive manner.
.... “We will use our best IT experts to solve these cases,” he added.

Rights activists urge affected women to break the silence and report such cases. Salma Ali asserts that human rights organisations would do everything in their power to protect women's privacy, conducting the proceedings in a closed court and ensuring that they do not have to undergo additional harassment from state institutions.


Legal experts note that cases can be filed under the existing Women and Children Repression Prevention Act 2000 (amended 2003), Information and Communications Technology (ICT) Act 2006 and Pornography Control Act 2012. However, there is no comprehensive law or section adequately dealing with sexual harassment in social media and other digital platforms. 
“The problem is that our laws have not been effectively updated to deal with offences that use digital media, and our evidence laws are still so archaic that they don't allow for use of electronic evidence,” argues Sara. 

Section 57 of the ICT Act states that anyone can be penalised for “any false and obscene posts online” for a maximum of 10 years and maximum fine of 1 crore. However, it does not define what constitutes “obscene”. 

She notes, “Only one or two cases have been filed using the ICT Act for online sexual harassment. As to why the law is not being used to deal with such cases as diligently as it is for defamatory comments made about religion or political figures remains a question. The police, too, do not seem to be using their powers to address such hateful content.” 
Experts note that laws can be used once the crime has been committed, but some regulatory measures must be put in place to prevent these crimes and hate speech from being generated on social media platforms in the first place. 

Bangladesh Telecommunication Regulation Commission (BTRC) has the authority to monitor hateful content, such as death threats and derogatory comments targeted against particular communities. However, they don't seem to be focusing on these issues, argues Sara. “Of course, the question then arises: what do you prioritise more, the immediate death threats against bloggers, for instance, or the general hate speech on social media? The problem is that our regulators don't seem to be doing either.”  

It's a fine balance between wanting more regulation of social media and wishing it to remain a free space where people can speak their minds. “People need to understand that freedom of speech does not mean freedom to say hurtful and offensive things,” says Nabila Chowdhury, a blogger. 

The cyber space is an extension of the real world; as such, the jingoistic attitudes and patriarchal norms we face on a daily basis in private and public spaces are reflected in the cyber domain as well. Without any protection or systematic support extended to female users, Digital Bangladesh, like real Bangladesh, will continue to be a male-dominated space in which women remain vulnerable.

Child sexual harassment



Child sexual abuse is commonly defined as "the form of child abuse in which an adult or an adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation, forces a child to engage in sexual activities, including indecent exposures of the genitals and touching them, physical sexual contact with a child, and using the child to produce child pornography and nude photography."

In Bangladesh's context, child sexual abuse is still a taboo and seldom gets openly discussed like child labour, trafficking, and exploitation in general. In the National Child Policy 2011 (which was revised for the first time after 1974), sexual abuse was given some attention under the broad heading of child safety. 

No specific section was dedicated for the sexually exploited, whereas children with disability, autism, belonging to the ethnic minority group and affected during and post natural calamities were brought under individual articles.

There is also an enduring stereotype that the victims of child abuse are mostly girls. However, both anecdotal and empirical evidences have shown that boys are equally if not more vulnerable than girls. A joint study conducted by Save the Children and Bangladesh Protibondhi Foundation in 2010 revealed that disabled children are usually at a higher risk of getting sexually harassed as they are unable to protect themselves and even at greater risk are those who are intellectually challenged since they are unable to make out the difference between good and bad touches and are often unable to articulate their concerns. Data from the same survey suggests that in half of the cases, more than 90% of the abusers were family members and close relatives.

This provokes the question: "Is home the safest place for our children?" A seminal and shocking study in the Indian context, "Bitter Chocolate" by Pinki Virani, challenges this belief. She proves this by citing numerous examples where children have been abused in their own homes by their close relatives and family friends. Horrifying experiences were shared: grandfather abusing his own granddaughter, father exploiting the children while bathing them, male domestic help abusing toddlers etc. This is further supported by another survey conducted in 21 countries among which most were industrialised; 36% women and 29% men revealed that they had been victims of sexual abuse in childhood and most of it took place in their family circle.

A recent research in India reports that 53% of the children are victims of sexual abuse in some form or the other. A fact unknown to many, until recently revealed in the popular television show "Satyamev Jayate" by Mr. Aamir Khan.

It is of utmost importance that we take this issue more seriously and act accordingly as it can have dangerous repercussions and affect the children adversely, whom we claim to be the future of the nation. Sexually abused children are susceptible to problems like depression and anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, suicidal behaviour, negative self esteem, alcohol and drug addiction, eating and sleeping disorders, vaginal bleeding, chronic pelvis pain, urinary tract infections, unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions, HIV/ AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases and so on. Sex education, school based awareness raising programmes and targeted campaigns can be used as preventive measures. 

Rehabilitating affected children through recreational activities like play, art, drama etc., and providing group therapy and individual counseling will help. However, one of the biggest challenges that Bangladesh faces in this regard is the lack of professional skills, underscored by lack of institutions providing applied psychology courses, and dearth of professionals working on child psychology.

In 1990, Bangladesh ratified the United Nation's Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which is based on the four general principles of non-discrimination, best interest of the child, right to life, survival and development and right to participation. 

All or some of the above principles are violated when and/after any child is sexually exploited. The state, thus, cannot abdicate its primary responsibility to protect and advance child rights.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Male victims of domestic violence are frequently victims of abuse in the home

Men can be victims too!

Male victims of domestic violence can and are frequently victims of abuse in the home, either at the hands of their female or, in the case of same-sex relationships, their male partner. Abuse is a control issue - abusers believe they have the right to manipulate, control and humilate another person, and this belief is not only held by some men but also by some women.


This page is not questioning statistics, or asking whether more male vicitms of domestic violence than women victims or vice versa. At the end of the day the question is almost inconsequential. We know that there are many men who DO experience Domestic Abuse at some stage in their lives, and whether there are 1000 or 100,000 per year in the UK alone doesn't make any difference to the individual suffering and fear and pain experienced by any one man in an abusive relationship. What is important, is that their suffering is taken seriously, and that support and help is available when needed, regardless of gender.

Many of the effects of abuse for the male victim of domestic violence are the same as for women. They are likely to feel deeply shamed, frightened, experience a loss of self-worth and confidence, feel isolated, guilty and confused about the situation.
"At first, she discouraged me from seeing old friends, especially female friends. She threatened to use violence against them. For example "If so and so visits here, I'll be putting a knife in her guts." ... She would flirt with my friends, but then tell me that they were trying to seduce her behind my back. This left me feeling distrustful of my friends. Later on, I found out that she had been telling them that they shouldn't come round because I was insanely jealous. All this had the effect of damaging my social network." (Thomas)
A lot of male victims of abuse however, have great difficulty defining it as such. This is partially due to the image our western society generally has of Man. Men are often thought of as strong, domineering and macho. Boys, even at a young age, are taught that it is unmanly to cry ("big boys don't cry"). To many, the idea of a grown man being frightened or vulnerable is a taboo, the idea of a man - usually physically the stronger - of being battered, ludicrous. Hence many male victims of abuse may feel "less of a man" for suffering abuse, feel as though they are in some way not manly enough and ought to have the ability to prevent the abuse.
"... she used to regularly scream at me and hit me, but when I needed stitches in my head after she had attacked me with a knife while drunk, I had to leave." (Anon)
"I told my colleagues that I had scratched myself during the night due to a change in washing powder - actually it was my wife who did it, but I couldn't tell them that." (Anon)
"After Betty had threatened me with a knife on more than one occasion, and I'd successfully ducked missiles, she finally got her aim right one morning and hit me with a bowl about one centimetre from my eye. I turned up to work that morning with blood-stained clothing and had to explain my fragile situation." (Thomas)
The reality though is that even if a man is physically attacked by their wives or partners, many men will take a beating rather than hitting back to defend themselves and risk harming their attacker, and even if they do, they are aware that they then risk being accused of being an abuser themselves. But abuse is not always physical, and a lot of men, in common with many women, face daily emotional, verbal and psychological abuse in silence for years, their self-esteem being slowly eroded away, more and more isolated from those around them.
Men can also be victims of sexual abuse. A gay victim may be raped by their partner, suffering all the agonies any other rape victim would. Many men in abusive relationships do not feel in control of their own sex life, their partners may demand or coerce intercourse, may make derisory comments about their manhood or ridicule them in public. Any form of sexual contact which is knowingly without consent can be experienced as sexual abuse - regardless of gender! Many men also experience "sex as a reward for good behaviour" and the opposite of being denied any intimacy if they have (knowingly or not) done something to displease their partners, as being an abusive use of sexuality. In an abusive relationship, sex is often used as another form of manipulating and controlling the other person, whether male or female, and that is abusive.
"We only ever had sex on her terms. And each time she would call it off before I had come. I would be so frustrated, I would get up and make myself some tea and toast and try to cool off, but she didn't like me getting up either, I was just meant to stay there and hold her but do nothing! I don't know ... that really screwed me up at the time and still affects me now." (Anon - eight years after the end of the marriage)
"I had had sexual intercourse against my will. ... One can say that men cannot be raped due to the probable inability to gain an erection when undergoing that kind of ugly abuse. Whatever the speculative thought process may reveal, I cannot get passed the fact that I did not want to have sex. I think that I have been raped." (Mark)
Quite apart from any other of the myriad of reasons for not leaving (see Why We Stay), many men with children feel trapped in an abusive relationship because they fear that if they leave, they will lose contact with their children. They may also be afraid that their abusive partner will continue to abuse the children if they are gone (especially if this is already the case). They are aware that in most cases, residency is given to the mother, and they are afraid that even if they do disclose the abuse they have suffered in Court, that they will either simply not be believed, or, worse, that their abusive partner will somehow 'turn the tables' on them, and they will be condemned as abusive and have an even harder time gaining any adequate contact, let alone residency of their children.

If you are being abused

If you are a man and are being abused or have recently escaped an abusive relationship, please know that you are not alone. There are many of you out there, and many, like you, feel as though you are the only one to experience this sort of abuse. It is okay to be frightened, confused and hurt. Someone you love, care about and trust has broken that trust, turned against you and hurt you.
You don't have to suffer in silence, there are agencies and people who do care and can offer you help, support and advice. Check out the helplines and links at the bottom of this page which are specifically designed with you in mind. They are there to help you. Just because you are a man does not mean you are impervious to pain!

If you are no longer in the abusive relationship, know that you can 'get over this', but you may find that it still gives you nightmares and makes it difficult establishing a new relationship, learning to open up and trust someone again. It may help to talk to a counsellor about what happened and how you feel.

Please don't worry if you are disbelieved or ridiculed by some of the people you approach. Sadly many people do not want to or cannot (due to their own insecurities) believe that men can and do suffer abuse, remember that it is their personal problem if they don't believe you, not yours. It does not make your experiences any less painful or devastating or valid. Try to disregard their attitude and try someone else. You will find many people who DO take you seriously and can understand what you have suffered.

If you are frightened that your partner will hurt you further, you have the same rights as any other person, whether man or woman, under the law for protection. The same orders to prevent male on female violence are also there to protect you. Insist on your rights to be free from fear and live in safety. In the same way, the Family Courts have a responsibility to take ALL allegations of Domestic Abuse into account when considering residency and contact orders, whether they are against the father or the mother.

And finally, please realise that it is not your fault. You do not deserve to be hit, to be insulted and ridiculed, to be touched intimately if you have asked not to be, to be treated like a doormat, to be threatened, attacked with a weapon, shamed in front of your mates, told what to do when and with whom. You do not deserve to be abused in any way, shape or form.

Source : http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk

Impacts of family violence on male victims


Abuse of men takes many of the same forms as it does against women - physical violence, intimidation and threats; sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal and financial abuse; property damage and social isolation. Many men experience multiple forms of abuse. Men, more so than women, can also experience legal and administrative abuse - the use of institutions to inflict further abuse on a victim, for example, taking out false restraining orders or not allowing the victim access to his children.

The impacts of family violence on male victims include:
  • Fear and loss of feelings of safety
  • Feelings of guilt and/or shame
  • Difficulties in trusting others
  • Anxiety and flashbacks 
  • Unresolved anger
  • Loneliness and isolation
  • Low self-esteem and/or self-hatred
  • Depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm and attempted suicide
  • Use of alcohol or other drugs to cope with the abuse
  • Physical injuries
  • Sexual dysfunction and/or impotence
  • Loss of work
  • Loss of home
  • Physical illness
  • Loss of contact with children and/or step-children
  • Concern about children post separation.
To add insult to injury, male victims of family violence often find it distressing to see social marketing campaigns such as Violence Against Women Australia Says No (federal) and Don’t Cross the Line (SA), which suggest that men are the only perpetrators of family violence and women and children the only victims.


Gay men can be reluctant to report the abuse they are suffering because they are afraid of revealing their sexual orientation. They can also suffer threats of ‘outing’ of their sexual preference or HIV status by the perpetrator. The perpetrator might also tell them that no one will help because the police and the justice system are homophobic.


Source : http://www.oneinthree.com.au

Men are much less likely to report being a victim of family violence

Male victims of family violence and abuse - like women - often face many barriers to disclosing their abuse:
  • They are likely to be told that there must be something they did to provoke the perpetrator’s abuse
  • They can suffer shame, embarrassment and the social stigma of not being able to protect themselves
  • They can fear that if they disclose the abuse there will be nowhere for them and their children to escape to
  • In cases of intimate partner violence, they can fear that if they disclose the abuse or end the relationship, their partner might become more abusive and/or take the children
  • They can feel uncertain about where to seek help, or how to seek help
  • Services are less likely to ask whether a man is a victim of family violence, and when they do ask, they are less likely to believe him (indeed many health departments have mandatory domestic violence screening for young women, but no such screening for young men)
  • Male victims can be falsely arrested and removed from their homes because of the assumption that because they are male, they must be a perpetrator and not a victim. When this happens, children can be left unprotected from the perpetrator of the violence, leading many men to suffer the abuse in silence in an attempt to protect their children.
Because of these barriers, men are much less likely to report being a victim of family violence than are women (and women also frequently don’t report violence against them).

Different kinds of abuse men : Emotional, Threats, Physical abuse and Sexual abuse


Emotional abuse

 The person abusing you may:
  • belittle you, or put you down
  • blame you for the abuse or for arguments
  • deny that abuse is happening, or play it down
  • isolate you from your family and friends
  • make unreasonable demands for your attention

Threats and intimidation

The person abusing you may:
  • threaten to hurt you or kill you
  • destroy things that belong to you
  • stand over you, invade your personal space
  • threaten to kill themselves, and/or the children
  • read your emails, texts or letters
  • harass or follow you 

Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways. These could include:
  • slapping, hitting or punching
  • pushing or shoving
  • biting, kicking
  • burning you
  • choking you
  • throwing things
  • holding you down

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they're male or female. The person abusing you may:
  • touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched
  • make unwanted sexual demands
  • hurt you during sex
  • pressure you to have sex
  • pressure you to have unsafe sex (for example, not using a condom) 
Your partner may also accuse you of flirting or cheating on them. If you ever feel scared of your partner, or you have changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do, you could be in an abusive relationship.
"As well as talking to someone when you realise you're in an abusive relationship, try to gather evidence about what's happening," says Ippo. This could include taking photographs of any injuries or bruises, and reporting it to your doctor. "You could also keep a diary of what happens, and the story of the abuse will show."
Try not to respond with violence. "Violence breeds more violence, and if you retaliate then this can make the abuser's violence worse," advises Ippo. "There's also the risk that they will call the police, and you will be seen as the abuser."

Ref: nhs.uk/